If you had asked Gaius what he had been thinking when he came into this agreement with Valdeaulin, he would admit that he was likely concussed and not in his right mind. He still accepted the agreement, as he was a man of his word, and that means that when it came time Valdeaulin could take his life if he still deemed it necessary for the justice he needed to exact for Eorzea. It was, in Gaius' mind, only fair. After all, the strong rule the weak, and Valdeaulin had found him when he was weak and taken his due as the stronger party.
However, this agreement apparently did not preclude other punishments. One of them had briefly presented itself in the Azure Dragoon - a man Gaius could share something like honest camaraderie with -- seeing as Ishgard and Garlemald has never managed to be in true, direct conflict. That's why, in his spite, Valdeaulin has suggested to Estinien that they are obviously up to something; how else could he view Gaius favorably, if he wasn't putting the lance to the fallen legatus?
Gaius had not been lancing anything, or getting lanced, or any of the sort. Instead, he was just sitting there with a sheaf of notes and some Ala Mhigan tea, trying not to think about anything except the liberation of Garlemald from Ascian machinations. No more, and no less.
Estinien was the kind of man used to thinking about exactly one thing at a time, and usually that one thing was stabbing. Now he had multiple things to think about and it was starting to make his head hurt a little.
An Azure Dragoon was not expected to marry and sire children, or to even be that good at making friends. It would only cause more harm once you'd died, and death was almost certain in that job, so why bother? Almeric certainly hadn't stressed it during Estinien's upbringing, or his training.
It also m eans that when he does have a concern, he's exceedingly blunt about it. Gaius will find his solitude interrupted by six and a half of feet of spiky, blood-tempered armor looming quietly in his vicinity, attempting to phrase an awkward question.
Gaius turns his pale eyes up to the Azure Dragoon, covered in armor and taller than Gaius is by at least a few inches. So he puts his papers aside, and looks up at him, stoic as ever.
"Do you need something?" he asks, deceptively mild. Internally, he wonders if some thing has spoiled their unspoken truce, or Estinien has some new cause for upset. Gaius can't bring himself to bemoan his state as a semi-pariah; both a failed would-be conqueror and a Garlean defector doesn't win him much favor - even the Scions barely tolerate him.
Something must be up. He just hopes whatever it is, he can solve it quickly.
It's hard to tell with Estinien, blank as his face often is. You know when he's angry, but the rest of the emotions are all a muddled mess when it comes to expression.
"Your mage seems to be under the impression of...something," he opens, awkward and vague as it is. He's not even sure what the implication is. It had a lot of pointed looks to it and Estinien's never been good at interpreting those. That was Aymeric's job.
"Valdeaulin is not my mage, and he would certainly take insult at the very suggestion," Gaius says, folding his hands over his work, letting some weight rest on his arms on the table. "What is he under the impression of?"
There are a thousand things: that Estinien thinks higher of Gaius than he should, perhaps. That he has been made away that Valdeaulin intends to encompass judge, jury and executioner. But he should think that neither of these two things would discomfit the Azure Dragoon.
"Mmm." Estinien looks off and to the side, mulling his words over. "We had been speaking of...the nature of grief and vengeance. A matter, as I'm sure he is loathe to let you forget, that he struggles with. I told him how I had made piece with Nidhogg, in part through having merged with his shade and felt his rage inside of me."
He falters not when speaking about his trauma, but in speaking of his confusion. "And he made some comment to the effect that he had not had such an experience with you, but mayhaps I had. I was...unsure of his meaning."
He had been smirking at the time. Estinien already has a bad feeling about this.
Gaius blinks once, and then reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose.
"I think you know exactly his meaning, Ser," Gaius said, voice flat. Rarely does he inflect anymore, or raise his voice. Instead, he keeps his measure level. "He meant to suggest that we were finding time to take abed and indulge as soldiers on the front do. Twas a jibe at both our expense, that's all."
Gaius's expression, already smooth with stoicism, somehow manages to flatten out further. Really, we're doing this? "The balance of power between Valdeaulin and I exists in a skew that you do not realize. He's merely exerting his power, knowing there will be no consequence for his troublemaking. To remind me of debts owed, and to not grow leisurely or content with the work. You're just his pawn in the game."
He picked up his letters again, and prepared to resume reading them. "Surely, you're man enough to rise above such small, petty politicking. Don't let him drag you into this mummery for his own amusement."
Estinien is quiet for a moment, letting Gaius read and considering his options. His head tilts to the side sightly, then back up again.
"I understand his desire for vengeance, even in small ways. A restless hunger that is never truly sated but can be quieted by small bites of this or that." Even if Estinien's quest was against something far bigger than a man - but so is Valdeaulin's, and he still puts the entire Empire's sins upon the one man in arm's reach. Estinien cannot say he didn't do the same. "But this is a useless aggression on his part. Worse than useless, if it makes us less efficient in our work. Whether I am bedding you or not should make no difference to him."
"It doesn't matter if you are or you are not," Gaius points out, looking up from his notes. Obviously, Estinien understands this kind of hate, the weight of this sort of rage. He explained he was merged with it, after all, held it in his hands, in his body, in his heart and soul -- if Gaius could believe in a soul.
"He cares that if I find a shred of peace, he may soil it in some way. I am, in essence, his prisoner and he my captor. In the absence of an attempt to rehabilitate me or kill me, he must remind me that I am weak. The Black Wolf, defanged, muzzled, with Valdeaulin's hand on his leash. It is merely him reminding me of his hand on my collar, and he cares not if you tangle in the lead," he says, watching the elezen for a betrayal of emotion. He is Gaius Baelsar, and while he can be kind, there is no real reason to be here. Not at the moment, anyway.
"Did you shed tears when heretics turned up in your path, tangled in draconic machinations, forcing your hand to cut them down -- even when they were your kith and kin?" he asks, steady as stone and twice as stoic. "Valdeaulin does not care if you suffer along side me; you are merely an Ishgardian that, by his measure, was absent in a war that you were protected from by virtue of your own, embittered conflict. He cares that I suffer and if you do too, so be it. The work will be done, and I will see it through, regardless of small humiliations. He knows that. You should too."
There's a flicker of emotion there, yes, but it's...pity. Sadness. A strange emotion on Estinien's normally sharp and derisive features that softens the edges of his face. But the pity is not for Gaius.
"I could tell him how many lives that road has claimed, both by those walking it and by innocent bystanders. If anything Ishgard should serve as an example to the world of the price paid for the indulgence of mindless, eternal vengeance." He can't help but think of Nidhogg in such a place. Chained, declawed, kept alive but harmless in the bowels of the Holy See - would that have made the life of a single child in Ishgard any better? No.
"None of his bitter words can harm me, because I don't care about his opinion. Perhaps it is the same to you. I worry about the collateral damage he may cause, though."
"Set your mind to ease, dragoon," Gaius says, sitting back in his seat and pinching the bridge of his nose once more. "I do not think that Valdeaulin will risk the mission with more than pettiness. He knows it is too large, means too much. We hunt together, we break bread together, but he will be at my back when I need him in the fight. In the mean time, he needles now and again. He needs must remind me that there are shackles, even if no one sees them."
Tucking the papers aside, he lets his mind turn the thought over in his head, before something occurs to him. His gold eyes peer back up at Estinien. "Doesn't your church condemn the practice, anyway? Just tell him that and make your piece clear. What happens in camp is not what happens when a soldier re-enters civilian society, after all. Anything you do here is a nonissue, regardless of who you do it it. Nothing of this will make it back to Ishgard. Your reputation will remain unsullied. No one would believe him if he shouted it from the top of the Holy See."
When they finally reach the village, and that inn, the next day a fight nearly breaks out. It's because there's only two rooms - Valdeualin insists he take the one with Gaius, while Estinien bunks with Severa. The innkeeper's wife finds it unseemly that Severa would bunk with a man who's clearly not her husband. Severa does not actually care. And Estinien...Estinien really wanted that shared bed.
It's Severa who actually rescues the entire situation, by getting Valdeulin so drunk over dinner he falls asleep barely after sunset. As she arrives to trade places with Gaius, she mutters to him as they pass, "Don't say I didn't do you any favors."
Estinien's waiting across the hallway, stripped of his armor and vibrating like a hive of bees.
"I won't forget it," Gaius said, striding across the hall past her as she went to his space and he took his scant possessions with them to the other room, dropped them in the corner and was on Estinien in a heart beat. They could -- have room to move, to touch, to not have to bend or crouch worry about pine needles in their hair.
"We are going to fuck," he says, between harsh kisses, scraping his teeth long Estinien's lower lip. He is already working on the soft padded tunic, the leather breeches, "because I cannot be arsed to wait until we've both properly bathed. But after-- we are going to, and then I am sure we will find it in ourselves to fuck again."
"Should--should I--" He'd had plans when he was waiting here, thought of it as a process with careful steps. Then Gaius walked in and Estinien's dick sat up and begged, and suddenly he's totally pliant, wanting to be guided and obedient.
He has no idea why this man does this to him. Gaius's kisses seem to wipe his mind full clean.
"Should you what, Wyrmblood?" Gaius asks as he marks up the man's neck, happy to make sure Valdeaulin will know that he was here, that he got what he wanted. Though Valdeaulin might take Gaius' life some day, the life he has in his hands now is still his to determine. The life he wanted right this moment, was soaking up Estinien's warmth and taking this scant, blissful comfort.
Gaius has not stopped walking, really -- he's pushing back on his lover with guiding force, not a cruel one, until they're up against the wall on one side of the bed, Gaius pushing his knees between Estinien's powerful thighs. When the dragoon's breeches unlaced, Gaius is happy to find that the surge of arousal has Estinien all but popping out of his smalls-- he pulls those loose, too, and strokes him in hand. "Tell me what you think you should do?"
If he wanted a concrete answer he shouldn't have taken Estinien's cock in his hand. The dragoon is powerful but his frame is slighter than Gaius, and he all but melts in the man's hand so that thigh is half of what's keeping him from hitting the floor entirely. Soft gasps come from his throat as he tries to muster his words.
Gaius takes his hands from that lovely cock, and lifts them both -- one to Estinien's shoulder, the other to grip his chin and make the other man look him in the eyes. "Should you what, Estinien. Use your words-- I expect no poetry, but please, say what you mean to say."
He's amused. A little bit smug. It's been months since he felt powerful in anything, but this... this he has.
Gaius smiles-- not over-eager, but not cruel, wanting, but not overbearing. "Yes, let's have you feel it."
He draws back, dropping his knee down, letting Estinien have space to think -- and to crave. "The rest of the plan can stand, we'll just let you do as you will with me, instead. Is that amenable to you, Estinien?"
Estinien does not bother to say yes. He's an 'actions speak louder' sort of person anyway, which is why as soon as the question is asked, with Gaius standing back, the man tackles him to the bed with the full force of a lunging dragoon and the bed itself scrapes back several inches with the force of their mutual landing.
As wood squeaked across the floor, Gaius wondered if he'd made a mistake and let a feral half-dragon elezen jump him to devour. With some of the air taken out of his lungs, he realized what those thighs would do, once Gaius had his legs around Estinien. He was going to have that kind of force behind each one.
Gaius laid amazed at how hard he got at the very thought, groaning he was flattened out under his lover.
It's once Estinien's on top of him and has his pants down that his hurried gestures slow - he remembers he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. He at least manages to get the oil on his hands, to slide his fingertip up and in to his opening.
He looks up to Gaius's face for feedback, worried.
The next morning Estinien is expecting some form of blowback. On a deeper level he knows nothing in his life that is good can come without Nymeia taking another thing as compensation for his happiness, and misery waits around every peaceful corner.
On a surface level, he knows Valdeaulin exists.
Strangely, the man does not lash out at them for conspiring to have sex on his watch. Estinien even barricades the watercloset door when he uses it just in case Valdeaulin decides to ambush him at his most vulnerable again, but the man gives no critique. Perhaps it's that Severa had words with him last night, or he had words with himself, but if anything the man seems completely disinterested in discussing who spent their night with who.
It's not until they reach the capitol proper that anyone gets time alone, regardless. With the civil war heating up it's surprisingly easy for them to slip in unnoticed, especially with an unmasked Gaius leading them, and they take shelter in an unoccupied building previously under the XIVth's occupancy. Estinien wears his hood loose over his ears and tight over his forehead, and broad as he is for an Elezen he at least can escape being picked out of the crowd. Less so for Valdeaulin, grumpily staying hidden with his facial tattoos giving the entire game away.
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loligiary2022-08-06 03:27 pm
Gaius and Estinien: An education
However, this agreement apparently did not preclude other punishments. One of them had briefly presented itself in the Azure Dragoon - a man Gaius could share something like honest camaraderie with -- seeing as Ishgard and Garlemald has never managed to be in true, direct conflict. That's why, in his spite, Valdeaulin has suggested to Estinien that they are obviously up to something; how else could he view Gaius favorably, if he wasn't putting the lance to the fallen legatus?
Gaius had not been lancing anything, or getting lanced, or any of the sort. Instead, he was just sitting there with a sheaf of notes and some Ala Mhigan tea, trying not to think about anything except the liberation of Garlemald from Ascian machinations. No more, and no less.
Re: Gaius and Estinien: An education
An Azure Dragoon was not expected to marry and sire children, or to even be that good at making friends. It would only cause more harm once you'd died, and death was almost certain in that job, so why bother? Almeric certainly hadn't stressed it during Estinien's upbringing, or his training.
It also m eans that when he does have a concern, he's exceedingly blunt about it. Gaius will find his solitude interrupted by six and a half of feet of spiky, blood-tempered armor looming quietly in his vicinity, attempting to phrase an awkward question.
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"Do you need something?" he asks, deceptively mild. Internally, he wonders if some thing has spoiled their unspoken truce, or Estinien has some new cause for upset. Gaius can't bring himself to bemoan his state as a semi-pariah; both a failed would-be conqueror and a Garlean defector doesn't win him much favor - even the Scions barely tolerate him.
Something must be up. He just hopes whatever it is, he can solve it quickly.
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"Your mage seems to be under the impression of...something," he opens, awkward and vague as it is. He's not even sure what the implication is. It had a lot of pointed looks to it and Estinien's never been good at interpreting those. That was Aymeric's job.
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There are a thousand things: that Estinien thinks higher of Gaius than he should, perhaps. That he has been made away that Valdeaulin intends to encompass judge, jury and executioner. But he should think that neither of these two things would discomfit the Azure Dragoon.
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He falters not when speaking about his trauma, but in speaking of his confusion. "And he made some comment to the effect that he had not had such an experience with you, but mayhaps I had. I was...unsure of his meaning."
He had been smirking at the time. Estinien already has a bad feeling about this.
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So that's what this is about, is it?
Gaius blinks once, and then reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose.
"I think you know exactly his meaning, Ser," Gaius said, voice flat. Rarely does he inflect anymore, or raise his voice. Instead, he keeps his measure level. "He meant to suggest that we were finding time to take abed and indulge as soldiers on the front do. Twas a jibe at both our expense, that's all."
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He picked up his letters again, and prepared to resume reading them. "Surely, you're man enough to rise above such small, petty politicking. Don't let him drag you into this mummery for his own amusement."
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"I understand his desire for vengeance, even in small ways. A restless hunger that is never truly sated but can be quieted by small bites of this or that." Even if Estinien's quest was against something far bigger than a man - but so is Valdeaulin's, and he still puts the entire Empire's sins upon the one man in arm's reach. Estinien cannot say he didn't do the same. "But this is a useless aggression on his part. Worse than useless, if it makes us less efficient in our work. Whether I am bedding you or not should make no difference to him."
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"He cares that if I find a shred of peace, he may soil it in some way. I am, in essence, his prisoner and he my captor. In the absence of an attempt to rehabilitate me or kill me, he must remind me that I am weak. The Black Wolf, defanged, muzzled, with Valdeaulin's hand on his leash. It is merely him reminding me of his hand on my collar, and he cares not if you tangle in the lead," he says, watching the elezen for a betrayal of emotion. He is Gaius Baelsar, and while he can be kind, there is no real reason to be here. Not at the moment, anyway.
"Did you shed tears when heretics turned up in your path, tangled in draconic machinations, forcing your hand to cut them down -- even when they were your kith and kin?" he asks, steady as stone and twice as stoic. "Valdeaulin does not care if you suffer along side me; you are merely an Ishgardian that, by his measure, was absent in a war that you were protected from by virtue of your own, embittered conflict. He cares that I suffer and if you do too, so be it. The work will be done, and I will see it through, regardless of small humiliations. He knows that. You should too."
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"I could tell him how many lives that road has claimed, both by those walking it and by innocent bystanders. If anything Ishgard should serve as an example to the world of the price paid for the indulgence of mindless, eternal vengeance." He can't help but think of Nidhogg in such a place. Chained, declawed, kept alive but harmless in the bowels of the Holy See - would that have made the life of a single child in Ishgard any better? No.
"None of his bitter words can harm me, because I don't care about his opinion. Perhaps it is the same to you. I worry about the collateral damage he may cause, though."
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Tucking the papers aside, he lets his mind turn the thought over in his head, before something occurs to him. His gold eyes peer back up at Estinien. "Doesn't your church condemn the practice, anyway? Just tell him that and make your piece clear. What happens in camp is not what happens when a soldier re-enters civilian society, after all. Anything you do here is a nonissue, regardless of who you do it it. Nothing of this will make it back to Ishgard. Your reputation will remain unsullied. No one would believe him if he shouted it from the top of the Holy See."
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Re: Gaius and Estinien: An education
It's Severa who actually rescues the entire situation, by getting Valdeulin so drunk over dinner he falls asleep barely after sunset. As she arrives to trade places with Gaius, she mutters to him as they pass, "Don't say I didn't do you any favors."
Estinien's waiting across the hallway, stripped of his armor and vibrating like a hive of bees.
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"We are going to fuck," he says, between harsh kisses, scraping his teeth long Estinien's lower lip. He is already working on the soft padded tunic, the leather breeches, "because I cannot be arsed to wait until we've both properly bathed. But after-- we are going to, and then I am sure we will find it in ourselves to fuck again."
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He has no idea why this man does this to him. Gaius's kisses seem to wipe his mind full clean.
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Gaius has not stopped walking, really -- he's pushing back on his lover with guiding force, not a cruel one, until they're up against the wall on one side of the bed, Gaius pushing his knees between Estinien's powerful thighs. When the dragoon's breeches unlaced, Gaius is happy to find that the surge of arousal has Estinien all but popping out of his smalls-- he pulls those loose, too, and strokes him in hand. "Tell me what you think you should do?"
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"Should--I want to...want to..."
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He's amused. A little bit smug. It's been months since he felt powerful in anything, but this... this he has.
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"Let me fuck you," he manages, teeth half-bared as he says it. "As you did to me. Let me feel it."
He demands nothing, as he should. He only asks permission.
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He draws back, dropping his knee down, letting Estinien have space to think -- and to crave. "The rest of the plan can stand, we'll just let you do as you will with me, instead. Is that amenable to you, Estinien?"
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Gaius laid amazed at how hard he got at the very thought, groaning he was flattened out under his lover.
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He looks up to Gaius's face for feedback, worried.
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Re: Gaius and Estinien: An education
On a surface level, he knows Valdeaulin exists.
Strangely, the man does not lash out at them for conspiring to have sex on his watch. Estinien even barricades the watercloset door when he uses it just in case Valdeaulin decides to ambush him at his most vulnerable again, but the man gives no critique. Perhaps it's that Severa had words with him last night, or he had words with himself, but if anything the man seems completely disinterested in discussing who spent their night with who.
It's not until they reach the capitol proper that anyone gets time alone, regardless. With the civil war heating up it's surprisingly easy for them to slip in unnoticed, especially with an unmasked Gaius leading them, and they take shelter in an unoccupied building previously under the XIVth's occupancy. Estinien wears his hood loose over his ears and tight over his forehead, and broad as he is for an Elezen he at least can escape being picked out of the crowd. Less so for Valdeaulin, grumpily staying hidden with his facial tattoos giving the entire game away.